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Post by CEO Harvey McCutchins on Jan 16, 2011 19:08:48 GMT -5
Feedback for Twilight's RPs here.
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Post by Sarah Twilight on Jan 18, 2011 1:07:13 GMT -5
I guess I'll be the first to use this and say that any and all feedback is welcomed. I also plan to start posting feedback for everyone...of course, this is going to take me some time, but I promise, I'll get to everyone.
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Post by "The Divine Chaos" Galen Ronan on Jan 18, 2011 17:20:10 GMT -5
Your RPs that I have seen all flow very well, excellently written and very developing of the character. Overall, the only thing that I would say to improve upon:
No yellow-on-black. For the love of god, no yellow-on-black.
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Post by Sarah Twilight on Jan 19, 2011 22:19:18 GMT -5
Your RPs that I have seen all flow very well, excellently written and very developing of the character. Overall, the only thing that I would say to improve upon: No yellow-on-black. For the love of god, no yellow-on-black. I wasn't exactly thrilled with how it looked after I posted it either lol. Trust me, I will not be using yellow anymore.
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Post by "The Divine Chaos" Galen Ronan on Jan 27, 2011 11:08:44 GMT -5
Hi there! I came back. With weapons.
Anyway, on-topic.
I do like your roleplays - very detailed, develop the character and manage to put all of that in a very nicely formatted mix of dialogue and narration. The only real criticism I have is that you seem to be, and I could be wrong here, intentionally trying to make your roleplays longer, rather than better. While long roleplays can be good, it seems like your roleplays can be long for the sake of being long rather than just a roleplay that happens to be long.
Maybe this is just my opinion, but that's what I get - they seem sluggish at points, over-extended even.
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Post by Sarah Twilight on Jan 27, 2011 13:58:05 GMT -5
Thank you for the feedback. It's much appreciated. To answer the question you posed; No, I do not intentionally write long roleplays just to write long roleplays. In fact, many of my roleplays aren't necessarily all that long. My Origins RP is long just because it is a backstory and there is/was a lot to cover. As far as my most recent roleplay, getting from point A to B just flowed how it did to describe thoroughly a process that I, myself have never experienced. But I can see how you would come to that conclusion after seeing two lengthy roleplays. Some in the future may be lengthy, but I am not going to go out of my way to make something extra long when it doesn't need to be. Again, thanks for the feedback!
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Post by "The Divine Chaos" Galen Ronan on Jan 27, 2011 14:40:52 GMT -5
Thank you for the feedback. It's much appreciated. To answer the question you posed; No, I do not intentionally write long roleplays just to write long roleplays. In fact, many of my roleplays aren't necessarily all that long. My Origins RP is long just because it is a backstory and there is/was a lot to cover. As far as my most recent roleplay, getting from point A to B just flowed how it did to describe thoroughly a process that I, myself have never experienced. But I can see how you would come to that conclusion after seeing two lengthy roleplays. Some in the future may be lengthy, but I am not going to go out of my way to make something extra long when it doesn't need to be. Again, thanks for the feedback! As someone who tends to write roleplays on the longer end of the scale, (compared to some at least) I don't have any problems with long roleplays - just that the pacing felt 'eh' at some points in yours. I suppose I may've interpreted wrong, but in any case, a bit of speeding up here or there could work well for the pacing. No problem.
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Post by Sarah Twilight on Feb 22, 2011 5:16:26 GMT -5
Feedback would be appreciated. Thanks
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Post by "The Cult Classic" Rachel Cole on Feb 22, 2011 5:20:49 GMT -5
It was simpler than what I am used to reading from you... which isn't a bad thing. You were straight and to the point and what really drove it was Twilight's personality and motives. As long as that is there and clearly explained, it is a good RP. The problem I had with a couple of the RPs beforehand were that they were on the "novel" side of things and got kind of boring... although parts were compelling.
Here you keep it to a simple concept, but because you are a talanted to writer, it still shares the same quality as the past RPs. It just isn't as drawn out which in my opinion makes it better.
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Post by Sarah Twilight on Mar 1, 2011 1:47:37 GMT -5
I decided to have a little fun this week with the RP. Feedback would be much appreciated
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Post by Sarah Twilight on Mar 9, 2011 23:07:32 GMT -5
PPV Roleplay posted. Feedback would be much appreciated. Thanks!
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Post by Sarah Twilight on Mar 22, 2011 20:36:43 GMT -5
RP for this week is up. Feedback would be appreciated. Thanks!
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