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Post by CEO Harvey McCutchins on Jan 16, 2011 19:10:23 GMT -5
Feedback for Burrows' RPs here.
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Post by Natalie Burrows on Jan 21, 2011 1:47:42 GMT -5
So, yeah... feedback would be nice, please.
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Post by Sarah Twilight on Jan 27, 2011 1:27:38 GMT -5
With reading your RPs, I find that I enjoy the detail of them. It feels a bit like reading a novel, and as each RP ends, you're waiting to turn the page to the next chapter. I absolutely love detailed RPs. In my opinion it helps to set tone for what you want the reader to take from reading it. So far, you have done a very good job of defining your character through the intricate details that you are placing in your RPs.
My only critique for you would be that it seems that you drift off a little bit. What I mean by this is that, we will be reading about Natalie, who is clearly a female character, and then you'll mention He, him or his right during the middle when no male character was ever spoken of. I'm not sure if you're a male handler and perhaps just slipping up during writing for a female or if it's something else. But otherwise, it's good stuff and keep it up!
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Post by Natalie Burrows on Jan 27, 2011 12:49:29 GMT -5
Nope, I am a female handler, lol... anyway, I looked over the roleplays I did for both matches Natalie has so far, and I can tell you exactly what the 'hims' in question refer to.
--In the tag team title match, the 'him' refers to Samson, Natalie's massive Newfoundland dog.
--And as for the match before it, I'm either talking about Morgan Reid (Nat's father's best friend, and her father figure now that Robbie's deceased) and Robert Burrows.
I hope that clears it up!
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Post by Natalie Burrows on Mar 1, 2011 21:41:36 GMT -5
Okay, so... feedback me, please? <3
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Post by Sarah Twilight on Mar 1, 2011 21:46:58 GMT -5
I absolutely loved the RPs. I don't know what more to say that I haven't said already. The details, setting a tone, and the raw emotion of it all. With each RP we get to know Natalie a little bit more. I have been enjoying that a great deal. Brilliant work, and I really don't know what else to say lol.
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