R: What? What is the big deal? Since when did it become a crime to say porch monkey?
B: Oh, I don't know, since forever?
R: Why?
D: Because porch monkey's a racial slur against black people!
R: No it's not! Nigger is.
D: Randal!
R: What?
E: [to Randal] Excuse me, but did you just call Mr. Dante a nigger?
B: Shut up, Elias!
R: No I did not just call Mr. Dante a nigger, I simply said that nigger is a racial slur towards black people.
D: So is porch monkey!
R: Oh, it is not! Coon, spook, spade, moolie, jigaboo, nig-nog, *those* are racial slurs towards black people! Porch Monkey is not!
D: Yes it is!
R: Oh? Since when did Porch Monkey suddenly become a racial slur?
D: When ignorant racists started saying it a hundred years ago!
R: Oh, bullshit! My grandmother used to call me a porch monkey all the time when I was a kid because I'd sit on the porch and stare at my neighbors!
D: Despite the fact that your grandmother might've used it as a term of endearment for you, it's still a racial slur! It'd be like your grandmother calling you a little kike!
R: Oh, it is not. Plus, my grandmother had nothing but the utmost respect for the Jewish community. When I was a kid she told me to always treat the Jewish kids with the utmost respect, or they'd put the sheni curse on me.
D: What the fuck, man?
R: What?
D: Sheni's a racial slur, too!
R: Oh, it is not.
D: Yes, it is!
R: She never called any Jews 'sheni', she just used to say sheni curse a lot. It was cute!
D: It wasn't cute! It was racist!
R: I disagree, man, she was just an old timer, that's the way people talked back then! Didn't mean they were racist... Although my grandmother did refer to a broken beer bottle once as a nigger knife... You know, come to think of it, my grandmother was kind of a racist.
D: You think?
R: Well,I still don't think porch monkey should be considered a racial term. I mean, I've always used it to describe lazy people, not lazy black people! I think if we really tried, we could re-claim it, and save it.
D: It can't be saved! The sole purpose for its creation, the only reason it exists in the first place, is to disparage an entire race! And even if it could be saved, you can't save it because you're not black!
R: Well listen to you! Telling me I can't do something because of the color of my skin! You're the racist! I'm taking it back, you watch!
That settles it